Ten reasons Lady Gaga is better than black metal

  1. Lady Gaga appreciates more than just one genre.
  2. Lady Gaga has better outfits.
  3. Lady Gaga has a better stage presence than black metal bands.
  4. Lady Gaga has more original music videos.
  5. Lady Gaga channels her insecurities into overly strong worries about other people’s misfortune, rather than faux elitism.
  6. Lady Gaga knows that cell phones cause cancer.
  7. Lady Gaga can dance.
  8. Lady Gaga shows up unexpectedly at heavy metal concerts. When was the last time Varg Vikernes or another ponytail showed up unexpectedly at one of Lady Gaga’s concerts?
  9. Unlike some of us (cough VARG cough) Lady Gaga did not rot in prison for stabbing her best friend to death.
  10. Lady Gaga’s songs make you happy. Black metal just leaves you angry, without providing any really productive solutions, other than abandoning fashion, haircuts and any music that is not metal and buying identical black T-shirts.

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